to the girl at the coffee shop

i love studying in my apartment. i’ve got internet, a djembe and i can study in my boxers. because of those same reasons, it’s not the most efficient place to be. so sometimes i like to change it up and go to a coffee shop. the one i go to has no internet or musical instruments and they have a strict not pants, not shirt, no service policy. without any distractions i’m able to get a good amount of work done and on very special occasions i get to see a pretty girl.

while working at the coffee shop is devoid of some distractions, it doesn’t resolve the issue of my adhd. no matter where i am, i can only concentrate for fifteen minutes at a time before my brain needs to take a five minute break. i’m not sure what happens during those five minutes. i think i check my phone and contemplate playing brick-breaker. but sometimes i just space out and stare into nowhere. today was no exception.

a couple hours into my coffee shop study-space out routine i notice this girl across the room. she’s sitting by herself with a book in hand. to my surprise she looks over at me.

her eyes were like daggers. piercing my face.

i’m not sure what i did to offend her. maybe it was my inadvertent staring. but honestly, even if i were trying to get the attention of someone in that coffee shop, it certainly would not have been you. in fact, if you were pretty, i would have purposely avoided looking in your general direction. the same way i would purposely avoid the pretty bag checker at trader joe’s because i don’t want her to see that my diet consists of chicken and bean burritos and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

look, i’m very realistic about my looks; i am neither tall, dark nor handsome - but i sure as hell could do better than you. i am way out of your league. i kind of felt like the girl i tried to talk to at katra; the only stranger i have ever approached at a bar (and she’s the reason why. i said hello and she proceeded to text her friend on her iphone. tall-ish, pretty asian girls - i hate them. another story, another time).

to ugly girls; when a guy stares in your general direction, don’t get all worked up as if they just violated your personal space. they are not trying to hit on you. they are not into you, i promise.

be more like me. when a girl looks in my direction, i simply assume that they are looking at someone behind me. if i am sitting against a wall, i assume that there is a nice painting or photograph hanging above my head. if i already know that there is no painting or photograph above me, i assume that they got something in their eye or forgot to wear their glasses.

to pretty girls; the guy that blatantly stares at you is probably a douche.